(DISCLAIMER: This is not talking about allowing someone to physically touch you. This is about being kind and loving even when it is hard)
A few years I had the privilege of working with a wonderful Christian Counselor. We used to joke about how she was my Paul and I her Timothy. I started working with Dr. Sherry Baker as her intern. I helped to co-facilitate her weekly anger management groups. I loved each weekly meeting because I learned something new from each person I had the honor of working along side.
Anger eats you up from the inside out. If you are a person who easliy gets angry and often takes it out on others, it is time. It is time to begin working on loving others with as much passion and committment as you feel in your anger.
I have been thinking about the lesson on “Taking the Hit.” It is easy to fall into the pattern of needing to be right. It is hard to apologize to someone who is angry even if you think you are right, and really and truely mean it. It is hard to invite others to bring to attention those moments when we are not being our “best self” and listen with a loving open heart.
Sometimes when I am not my “best self” and I am struggling with conflict I ask myself “do I want to be right” or “do I want to be happy.” I find that things usually turn out for the better when I lovingly “Take the Hit.”
Take the Hit
The next time anyone gets angry with you, don’t try to stop them. Don’t walk away from them. Don’t get angry back at them. Don’t get combative, don’t get defensive, and don’t explain yourself.
Just stay there listening to them until they are done speaking. Take the hit. You can take the hit. And then apologize to them for what they are angry at you for, and say you’re going to do your very best not to do it again. And try to mean it with your heart!
While you’re at it, tell them for future reference, that you want them to express their anger and truth to you – you can take it and that you know you sometimes need to hear it.
Tell them this even if you think it’s not true.
Even if it isn’t true, take the hit. Take the hits no matter what.